When someone we love dies, words can sometimes feel inadequate. We may know that we want to express our love, say goodbye, offer comfort to a grieving family or simply honour a life well lived but finding the right words can be difficult.

Flowers have long given us another way to communicate.

A funeral arrangement is more than something beautiful placed beside a coffin or at a memorial service. Flowers can represent love, remembrance, hope, friendship and the continuation of life. They can tell a story about the person who has died and provide a tangible expression of feelings that are difficult to put into words.

But why flowers? Where did the tradition of funeral flowers come from?

A tradition thousands of years old

The connection between flowers and death is remarkably ancient.

Archaeological evidence from burial sites in what is now Israel suggests that people were using flowering plants ceremonially in burials around 13,700–11,700 years ago. Researchers found impressions of flowers and other plants beneath bodies, suggesting that some people were laid to rest on beds or mats of vegetation. 

Flowers also played a role in the funerary traditions of ancient civilisations.

In ancient Egypt, for example, floral garlands were associated with funeral ceremonies. A floral collar discovered among the burial materials of Tutankhamun included petals, leaves, berries and other botanical elements and was probably worn during the king's funeral ceremonies. 

The ancient Greeks had elaborate traditions surrounding death and burial, including preparing the body, a funeral procession and interment. Offerings were also made at graves as part of remembering the deceased. 

For the Romans, wreaths and plant motifs were also closely connected with funeral culture. Garlands of fruits and plants became decorative motifs on Roman funeral monuments and sarcophagi. 

So although today's funeral flowers may look very different from those used thousands of years ago, the underlying idea is remarkably familiar: using nature to honour someone who has died.

Why are flowers so closely associated with remembrance?

There is something particularly powerful about flowers at a funeral.

Flowers are beautiful, but they are also temporary. They bloom, flourish and eventually fade. In that sense, they can reflect the fragility and preciousness of life.

At the same time, flowers remind us that nature continues. New buds appear, seasons change and gardens grow again. This can make flowers a comforting symbol of renewal, hope and the continuation of life.

Their scent can also bring memories flooding back. A particular rose may remind someone of a garden, while lavender might recall a loved one's home. A favourite flower can instantly make an arrangement feel personal.

This is one of the reasons I believe funeral flowers should never simply be about following a formula. The most meaningful flowers are often those that say something about the person being remembered.

The symbolism of funeral flowers

Flowers have accumulated meanings over centuries, although these meanings can vary between cultures, religions and historical periods. Victorian society, in particular, became fascinated with floriography - the "language of flowers" - in which individual flowers could communicate particular emotions and messages. 

Some flowers commonly associated with funerals include:

• Lilies – often associated with purity, peace, innocence and the soul. Their elegant, uplifting form makes them one of the most traditional choices for funeral arrangements.
• Roses – can express love, respect and remembrance. Different colours can introduce different sentiments, with red often associated with deep love and white with purity and reverence.
• Chrysanthemums – have significant associations with mourning and remembrance in a number of cultures, although their meaning varies considerably around the world.
• Carnations – long-lasting and available in many colours, they can represent love, remembrance and affection.
• Irises – their elegant shape and traditional associations with hope and faith can make them a thoughtful addition to sympathy flowers.
• Forget-me-nots – perhaps one of the most immediately recognisable symbols of remembrance, they offer a simple message: you will not be forgotten.
• Seasonal flowers and foliage – sometimes the most meaningful choice of all, particularly when they connect with a favourite garden, season, place or memory.

Symbolism doesn't have to come from a flower dictionary. If someone's favourite flower was a sunflower, peony or sweet pea, that personal connection can be far more meaningful than any traditional definition.

Flowers can tell the story of a life

Funeral flowers don't have to be solemn or sombre.

A funeral is a time of sadness, but it is also a time to celebrate someone's life, their personality, relationships, passions and memories.

Perhaps a grandmother loved her cottage garden. Perhaps someone spent every summer growing sweet peas. Maybe a keen gardener had a favourite rose or someone simply loved bright, cheerful colours.

In these circumstances, flowers become part of that person's story.

A colourful seasonal arrangement might reflect a vibrant personality. Wildflowers could represent a love of the countryside. A simple collection of garden flowers might recreate the feeling of a much-loved home.

This is where floristry can become deeply personal: I'm not just arranging flowers; I'm helping families create a visual expression of someone they love.

Beauty and comfort during grief

There is also something very human about bringing beauty into a difficult place.

Funeral homes, churches and crematoriums can understandably feel formal and unfamiliar. Flowers soften these spaces. They bring colour, texture, scent and something living into an occasion centred on loss.

For the people attending, flowers can provide a gentle focal point and create a sense of warmth and care.

They also give friends and family something practical to do. Choosing flowers, selecting colours or deciding on a favourite bloom can become a small but meaningful part of saying goodbye.

And when words fail, sending flowers can simply say:

"I'm thinking of you."

"I'm here for you."

"They will be remembered."

Flowers mean different things around the world

There is no single universal meaning attached to funeral flowers.

Traditions surrounding flowers and death vary enormously between cultures. In Mexico's Día de los Muertos celebrations, for example, marigolds are traditionally associated with the dead and are used on altars, where their colour and scent are believed to help guide visiting souls. 

The chrysanthemum provides another fascinating example of how meanings can change across cultures. It has important historical and cultural associations in China and Japan, while in parts of Europe it is strongly associated with mourning and funerals. 

This is why cultural and religious traditions should always be considered when choosing funeral flowers. What feels appropriate in one community may have a completely different meaning in another.

From traditional wreaths to personal tributes

Funeral flowers have changed considerably over time.

Traditional designs such as wreaths, sprays and coffin flowers remain popular because they are familiar and carry a sense of ceremony. But modern funerals increasingly allow room for individuality.

Today, families might choose:

• A floral tribute shaped like a favourite hobby or object
• A colourful arrangement reflecting someone's personality
• Flowers from their own garden
• Seasonal British flowers
• A simple, natural arrangement with lots of foliage
• A favourite flower incorporated throughout the service
• Flowers that reflect a person's career, interests or passions
• Smaller arrangements for family members to take home afterwards
• Sustainable or foam-free funeral floristry
• Plants or living arrangements that can continue growing after the funeral

There is also a growing appreciation for natural, seasonal and locally grown flowers, allowing funeral designs to feel less formal and more connected to the person and the time of year.

There doesn't have to be a "right" funeral flower

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that funeral flowers don't have to conform to a particular rule.

White lilies might be exactly right for one family. For another, a joyful mixture of dahlias, roses and garden foliage might better capture the personality of the person they've lost.

There can be beauty in simplicity, just as there can be meaning in an abundant floral tribute.

What matters is the sentiment behind it.

Flowers are a way of saying goodbye

For thousands of years, people have used flowers to mark death, remember loved ones and create beautiful spaces in which to say goodbye.

That tradition continues because flowers speak to something universal. They are beautiful but fleeting; delicate but resilient; individual but part of something much larger.

At a funeral, they can represent the life that has been lived, the love that remains and the memories that will continue.

And sometimes, when there simply aren't words, flowers say everything.

At Where Forge Meets Thistle, I create thoughtful, personal funeral flowers designed around the individual being remembered. Whether you are looking for a traditional wreath, a natural seasonal arrangement or a completely bespoke tribute, I am here to help you choose flowers that feel meaningful, personal and right for you.